A Letter for Anders
by N7Dragon5
Summary: Hearing about an old friend's adventures makes Warden-Commander Amell want to catch up a little, along with showing a little bit of weakness. May edit later. Please review! P.S. Look at me I can't pick genres!


Anders,

I remember when you asked if it was possible to leave the Wardens. _My friend_ was asking if it was _possible _to _leave._ I'll be honest when I say I was surprised, whether I looked the part or not. I didn't think that after the whole business with that one templar Rylock you'd still consider leaving.

And then the Circle asked you to come back. Asked! I don't know if you were worried or excited about it, or if you left to accept their offer or run away again, but either way you were gone. The brief goodbye I received wasn't much to put me at ease. You told me you were leaving and why, then a "see you later" followed. You even took the cat! I'm glad my gift wasn't simply discarded, at least.

Then you came back again. I still don't know why. Maybe you missed the Keep, or bothering Oghren or Nate, maybe you even missed me. I don't know. But you came back, and let me be your Commander again. Remember our hug? The look on your face was absolutely _priceless._ At least the cat seemed happy to see me. Ser Pounce-A-Lot, wasn't it (that name is so cute and ridiculous)?

_And then you left again._

I'm not sure why I just repeated the whole sequence of events for you. Maybe your memory got bad over the years. Or, maybe I'm just reminding myself what you did over your stay here.

I'm still at the Keep, if you didn't know already. Oghren won't admit it, but I know he misses you. My cousin Hawke writes about you often, among other things (are you really travelling with a glowing elf?), but the part about you caught my eye. Though, "caught my eye" sounds positive, doesn't it?

I wondered why Justice simply…disappeared. You could've told me your plan, you know. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not (extremely) mad at you, it just would have been nice to know my friend was planning to become an abomination. Remember when we'd joke about them, their appearances and the sounds they made? Of course you do, we joked about them all the time. I miss it. Velanna vanished, as I think you know, so I don't have any mages to joke around with anymore. I hope you don't look or sound like the ones I fought in the Circle forever ago, because that would be bad. I don't think Justice would like it much, either.

I heard you completely destroyed Kirkwall's Chantry. I can't say I wasn't mad, but I also can't say I wasn't a little proud. You took a stand. You did what you thought was right, even if it was one of the stupidest things you could possibly do. Innocents died, but I guess that's what happens in war, right? Hawke wasn't too happy. The words she wrote to describe you would have made a darkspawn cry. I'll admit I was a bit furious when a horde of templars showed up at the Keep, demanding I come with them to the tower. I think they came because of you. They want to lock _all_ mages up now. I think that may be the real reason Velanna left. They tried nabbing my old friend Morrigan, a supposed "Witch of the Wilds". I'm sure you can imagine how that went down.

I'm going to tell you something here that you can never, ever repeat to anyone. I can't make you promise, but I can trust you, I hope. You made the Wardens worth it. Listening to your jokes, how they came so easily to you, that's what made _everything_ worth it. When you left both times…my heart broke. Twice. I believe I've cried only three times in my life. Once when I was taken to the Circle; I was dragged away kicking and screaming by templars, my father holding my crying mother. I believe she cried because she was ashamed. I ruined the Amell name with my "gift". The second time was when you left because of the Circle. You were a friend then, someone I could tell my darkest secrets to. I think I actually did that one time we raided Oghren's stash of alcohol when he wasn't looking. The third time was when you left for good. It took the second set of tears to bring on the third, though. Without the second, there could be no third. That may sound silly, but it makes sense if you think about it. By that time, we'd gone through all kinds of horrors together. We'd shared drinks and laughs and friends. I think you may have stolen my staff once. You were more than a friend to me. More than a brother.

I loved you. I don't know if I still do. I'd have to see you—and Justice, I suppose—again to decide for sure. Hawke says you sit in your stupid clinic all day, and the jokes you try to crack are weak at best. I'd like to meet New Anders. Or would it be Junders? Anstice? Ha, don't mind me, just trying to bring the light back after a dramatic confession. I don't think you'd ever in a thousand years feel the same, a note in all seriousness. I just needed to get that off my chest, to let you know that we can still go back to the way we were, sharing our secrets after making wagers on who could drink the most without alerting our dwarven friend. I found some enchanted wine, by the way. Maybe, if you're ever back in Ferelden or I show up in Kirkwall, we can crack it open and see who ends up under the table first.

I should wrap this up. I've babbled more than my paper can handle.

Stay safe out there…both of you.

Caelah Amell

Warden Commander of Ferelden


End file.
